


Drops Of Jupiter

by foryoubabeitsanobrain



Category: Adam Hann - Fandom, George Daniel - Fandom, Matthew Healy - Fandom, Ross Macdonald - Fandom, The 1975 (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Drugs, First Love, Loss, Love, M/M, Marriage, musician - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-29
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-10-12 11:50:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10490277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foryoubabeitsanobrain/pseuds/foryoubabeitsanobrain
Summary: Based off the song Drops Of Jupiter by Train with some Gatty and Goss (George and Ross).





	1. Chapter 1

Drops Of Jupiter   
//Prologue //   
He's not sure when or how he fell in love with his best friend. It seems like yesterday. Matty's family moved next door to George's shortly after his 14th birthday. He remembers the first day he saw him so vividly. Carrying a brown box marked "Matty's Room" and struggling. Grunting as he slowly loses grip. He was beautiful with a shaggy dark hair cut and a sadness in his eyes the younger boy never understood. He was too pure to be sad. George rushes over from his front door to help Matty offering a hand but he rejects it scoffing.   
"I don't need your help."   
George rushes back home defeated and climbs up the roof thanks to a ladder in the back yard. He sits smoking cigarettes. Fighting back tears. He's not sure why he's upset he just is. His parents are gone for their date night so he just sits watching the sky turn from bright and promising to darkness and stars. He jumps slightly when he sees the ladder moving and then a figure emerges flipping his black hair.   
"M'sorry about earlier....." he pauses waiting for George to introduce himself.   
"George" He spits back.   
"George. I'm sorry. Moving has just been really stressful for me and I'm sorry I took it out on you. Brought over a sort of truce spliff."   
George giggles as Matty lights it up and sits next to him. They share it gazing at the stars.   
"Never got your name." George finally announces.   
"Matthew. My mates call me Matty."   
"Well thank you, Matty. Shouldn't you be going down? Your mum must be worried sick."   
"No. It's date night. Probably won't be back until the morning. It's their anniversary and they got a room."   
"Oh. Mine are working late."   
Matty grins widely at George.   
"Where's my manners? Would you like to come inside? Got more weed."   
He leads George by the hand down the ladder and to his house opening the front door and locking it behind him. Before George knows it Matty's has his pressed again the door kissing his lips.   
"Did I mention I'm bi and really into you?"   
Matty says breathless between kisses. He's full on humping George as they make out. George nods gasping for air.   
"Same."   
Matty giggles leading George to his room. They make love on his bed. A mind blowing, earth shattering experience they've never felt before and just like that they're insuperable spending their time getting high, into trouble and in each other. 

 

Over time Matty grows into this wildly ambitious person. He's 18 and he wants to explore the world, make music and become famous They're laying in their bed cuddling and talking about their dreams.   
"I want to get away from here. George, let's do it. I got my music. You got yours. We can move to America and fucking kill it in the industry. We could do it." He grabs George's hand and kisses it.   
"Matty, babe we've been over this. First I want proper education before diving into the unknown."   
"You didn't "proper" know me when you first slept with me. Look at how that turned out."   
"It's not the same and you know it. A relationship is different that moving to another country for a dream."   
Matty scoffs and faces away from George. One of the many nights now spent arguing over this. It's ridiculous to George. He loves Matty he just wants to make sure that they have a back up before taking risks. Instead of flopping and coming back home forcefully. Matty thinks too much with his heart and not his head. It use to be what made their relationship work. Now it's just not. They're growing apart and George doesn't know what to do anymore but he knows he loves Matty more than anything. He's afraid to lose him. Eventually he falls asleep looking at a wall not knowing what to say. 

Matty's been wide awake for hours because tonight is the night. He makes sure George is asleep brushing his shoulder and earning no reaction. Matty grabs a notepad he has in their night stand and starts writing. He grabs a ticket from the drawer and grabs the suitcase he has inside the closet. Turning off the lights before leaving for the last time. He lightly shuts the front door, locks it and throws the key into the garbage. 

The whole flight he's a nervous mess wondering if it's a mistake it's too late now he's halfway to California and he knows George should be wondering about him now so he decides to ditch his phone. He starts writing... anything to take his mind off of George but somehow all of the words scream him. Frustrated he decides to take a nap. 

George wakes up without Matty beside him. He was expecting it since he knew he had work early in the morning. He decides to text him.   
"George: Matty, I'm sorry we keep having this fight. I love you more than anything in this world and if moving to California means that much to you let's do it together."   
He smiles to himself preparing a lunch for Matty when he comes home for his lunch break. In the middle of cooking he gets a call from Matty's boss.   
"Hey Adam, is everything ok? He didn't get himself into another accident did he?" George laughs into the phone.   
"George, I was actually calling to see if you knew where he was. He hasn't returned any of my calls and he hasn't shown up for work today is everything ok?"   
George's heart drops and he feels like collapsing.   
"I um. I haven't seen him all day. I'll let you know if I find out anything." He immediately hangs up and begins searching their flat. First he checks the room thinking maybe he had a family emergency and forgot his phone.   
There it is plain as day on the desk and George is surprised he didn't see it sooner.   
"George, my dearest George. This is going no where. I love you with all of my heart and you know this but I can't keep living like this. I want more out of life and I can't stay here forever like you want. I think it's best if I go. When you wake up I won't be here. I love you but I have to do this for me." 

George stares at the words for 3 hours and cries until he falls asleep. That's the last he ever heard of Matty. Except of course what he hears on TV.


	2. // Back In The Atmosphere//

//Back In The Atmosphere//  
And just like that George is back to square one. Back to being just George. An empty void fills his heart but he gets over it eventually. Working through university and finally making his way to teaching music at a school in his hometown. He loves it. Who doesn't love the comfort of home? He sees the same pristine lawns coming to and from work just like his school years. Grinning at the people he grew up with and their relatives. It was cozy. It was ordinary and all that he ever wanted.   
He goes home, wakes up and does it all over again. Until everything changes that is. 

"Now class it's my pleasure to announce that today the dean set up a special guest to come show you about music. While I don't know myself know who it is let's give them a round of applause and introduce..." 

Matty walks in the room wearing dark skinny jeans, a floral shirt and a leather jacket with dark, hooded eyes looking tired and weaker than George has ever seen. Their eyes meet and they both gasp. 

"M-m-Matty Healy boys and girls."   
The students clap and cheer as George sits in the back allowing Matty to make way to the front of the room avoid eye contact. 

"Ello George's class. I'm Matty and I use to go school here. A very long time ago actually so it's great to be back. Now they wanted me to speak to you about the music industry but the first piece of advice I can give you: never give up and also, if you love someone.. don't leave them with a note that you call a sorry apology. You'll regret it." He looks up at George who looks away scoffing.   
"While it's good to chase after your dreams getting there feels so much better when you have someone by your side cheering you on. The key ingredient to success is a support system: your mum, dad, family, friends, teachers and so many people are there for you. I'm not going to lie to you and say it was easy. I spent days starving trying to make ends meet and almost packing up and coming back home but if you want something enough nothing can keep you from it."   
George silently slips out of the room and once the bell rings so does Matty. He's outside talking to the dean who immediately walks away when he sees Matty.   
"Hi, George. It's been a while." Matty smiles and reaches in for a hug. George doesn't however and stands still.   
"If you'll excuse me I have better things to do."   
George walks away and into the parking lot towards his car. Matty chases him outside.   
"Was it something I said or did?" Matty screams out as George opens his car door.   
"Yeah it was everything you fucking said and did. I asked myself that same question while I read that shit excuse of an apology every fucking day for 8 years. How was rehab you strung out pop star? Washed up and decided to come home?" Matty grabs his chest the words hit close to him and feels like a bullet. George drives away to their flat he still calls home. 

Matty walks around aimlessly wondering if he should ring his mom up but doesn't. His feet just keep moving until he's somewhere familiar. A flat him and George use to share.   
He looks into the window seeing if George is home or if he still even lives there but sees what he doesn't want to. 

"Hey babe how was work?" A man he assumes to be George's boyfriend or husband or something asks. George kisses his cheek as he stirs something on the stove.   
"Fine. Matty's back and they assigned him to help me teach my class for a bit. Can you believe it?" George scoffs helping his lover cook.   
"Oh god. That drug addict pop star you use to date?"   
They both laugh loudly and kiss.   
"Yeah pathetic right? Guess he could use the cash considering rehab for the 1,000th time gets expensive."   
They set the table and begin eating.   
Matty decided to walk away defeated and to his mums. When he leaves the view George looks over the window. He knew he was there. He's protecting himself from the butterflies he keeps feeling. Matty decides while he's walking to the tube he shouldn't see her just yet and gets a hotel nearby. He sits in the bar after unpacking knocking back a few shots. He's getting a little woozy and grabs a sticky note from his back pocket. The dean gave him George's number just in case he ever ran late or needed him not knowing of their history.   
Matty: Hi hi hi hi. Room spinning. Need to see you. M'sorry babe. 

George is laying in bed as his boyfriend Ross goes off to work. He kisses his cheek and lays down. He's off for a business trip when he needs him the most. He wasn't expecting Matty's return and it's bringing a lot of old emotions he doesn't exactly want to feel now that he's settled into a relationship and life he always wanted. His phone starts buzzing he opens the new text thinking it's Ross' "miss you already" text instead it's a new number he doesn't quite know.   
George: Who is this?   
He gets back jumbled up letters and calls the number fearing the worst or maybe thinking it's another prank from his students.   
"George. He hates me. I drink all the drinks. I sad. I drugs. Room." Matty starts giggling and slurring. George's stomach churns hearing how broken he sounds.   
"Matty are you ok?"   
"You're right! I'm washed up! I drugs. I rehab." Matty giggles obviously drunk.   
"Where are you?" He grabs his keys and puts on his shoes.   
"A place. Booose. People. So pretty lights."   
George knows exactly where he is. It's a hotel where they spent their 3rd anniversary at. They spent all night getting high and making love in the shower. He still can see Matty's drenched curls on the shower wall.   
"Don't move. I'm on my way." Matty giggles and hangs up.   
George races to the hotel bar scanning it for Matty. He sees his curls on a stool laughing to himself over a round of shots. The bartender shakes his head as Matty gives him his credit card even though he already paid for the drinks.   
"I'll get him up to his room. Sorry about this."   
Matty's eyes get wide as he sees George. He's speechless falling off the stool. George carries him to the room and fishes the key out of his back pocket.   
"5th floor, room 6" Matty slurs. George punches in the floor as they get in the elevator. They look into each other's eyes and just like that George is back. Matty leans in closer to him and the elevator stops. He finds the room and opens to door shutting it gently and laying Matty on the bed.   
"Does your husband know what you're up to?" He tucks Matty in and takes his shoes off.   
"Not my husband and he's away on business."   
"He's lucky." Matty says groaning.   
George is about to ask why but Matty vomits into the trash can George slipped by the bed.   
"Sorry." George says gently sitting next to him.   
"Don't be." Matty says once he's done as George lays next to him.   
"How long are you here for?"   
"The label dropped me. I'm here till I die."   
"Why?" George asks playing with his hair out of habit.   
"Drugs" Matty points to his bags.   
"Matty, why do you do them?"   
"I'm filling the void left by you."   
Matty chuckles eventually knocking out. George doesn't want to go considering it's now 2AM and he's sleepy. Also he's slightly concerned about Matty if he's being honest with himself. He goes through Matty's bag to find the drugs he's talking about. A few baggies of cocaine are located. He debates on what to do with them but decided to flush them down the toilet and joins Matty in the bed. Matty instantly wraps his arms around him.   
"Missed you." He says in his sleep scaring George but he remembers his sleep talk voice too well so he laughs silently to himself.   
"Me too." He kisses Matty's cheek out of habit and falls asleep.


	3. // Drops Of Jupiter In His Hair//

//Drops Of Jupiter In His Hair//  
Matty wakes up curled into George. They're full on cuddling and as much as he loves this his breath is disgusting so he gets up to brush his teeth. He grins to himself in the mirror and hopes to fall back asleep next to George so he returns to the bed only to discover it's empty. Puzzled he scans the room and spots George outside smoking a cigarette. He opens the sliding glass door to join him. The sky is rainy and gray but George makes it fill with promise. He's always made things brighter. Matty puts his hand on his shoulder making him shutter.  
"You know for a teacher you sure are a bad influence."  
George chuckled and speaks without thinking.  
"Says the one with coke in his bags. Do you want to talk about it?" He offers Matty a cigarette and lights it.  
"Can I let you in on a secret?"  
George nods his head as he releases a cloud of smoke from his mouth.  
"It's just that I feel... empty. It's the only thing that makes me feel alive right now." His voice breaks and it takes everything in George not to hold him.  
"Drugs aren't going to solve everything."  
"Can we stop talking about this? Or how about a better question: why did you actually show up?"  
George gets tense and Matty immediately regrets asking. He puts out the cigarette and walks inside leaving Matty alone.  
Matty follows him inside closing the patio door.  
"I'm sorry--- I just want to know." He looks up at George smiling.  
"If you must know it's because I was concerned but I won't get in your way anymore. That's why you left, right?" George storms to the door but Matty follows again and pins him to the door in attempt to stop him.  
"Don't go, please." George is breathing heavily and he knows he can easily get away but he doesn't.  
"I won't if you explain." He let's go of George and opens his arms for a hug which is warmly accepted.  
"I left because I felt like it was something I needed to do. Like I needed to prove myself and then you were being rational and I admire that but I had to."  
"That night... I was going to finally agree with you..."  
Matty looks into George's eyes sadly.  
"Then I would've never felt as empty as I do right now."  
And that's all it takes for George's lips to reach his. It's soft and pure. Matty feels butterflies building up inside of him. His hands roam to George's neck and he tries to pull him closer but the kiss ends.  
"I-I shouldn't have done that sorry." George pulls away then Matty pushes him back against the door reaching up to kiss him back roughly. He moans into the taller mans mouth. It's strangled and needy and George knows in that moment he can't resist him any longer. He pulls off Matty's shirt much to his surprise and then his own. Their naked torsos rubbing against each other as George grinds his hard on against Matty. He wraps his legs around George's waist and gets carried to the bed. Their pants are off and George is so rough and lustful. Before they know it Matty's face is buried in a pillow and George is pounding into him. He wasn't expecting this. Neither of them were but they needed it. Before they know it George tenses up and releases into Matty panting loudly as he falls into him.  
"Sorry". George mutters breathlessly.  
Matty shakes his head letting him know it's ok. He holds George in his arms playing with strands of his hair kissing his forehead.  
"Don't apologize. I needed that-- you. Can you take away this pain in me?"  
Matty breaks out into sobs as George lays down next to him and holds him.  
"Shhh ahh Matty you're going to be fine. With or without me. You're stronger than this." He murmurs playing with his hair.  
Matty kisses him passionately once more as a thank you. George holds him closely playing with his curls.  
"You have drops of Jupiter in your hair, Matthew."  
"I have what?" Matty chuckles dying to hear his explanation.  
"Drops Of Jupiter. It's like little remnants of where you've been all these years. Little drops of a place I've never been but I'm glad you got the chance to explore that world for the both of us."  
Matty strokes his fingers across George's face leaning in for another kiss.  
"Shit don't we have a class to teach?" Matty grunts and tries to find his shirt.  
"I said that we needed a day to get you settled. Come back to bed. We have all weekend."  
And for once Matty listens going back to the rhythm in George's chest eventually falling asleep curled into him.  
George notices and laughs silently to himself kissing Matty's forehead before falling asleep too. 

George wakes up shaking and finding Matty getting his suitcases out. Their eyes meet and Matty immediately drops them rushing to George he kisses him nice and rough and needy.  
"Are you leaving me again?" George grumbles half way awake.  
"No. Baby no I. I couldn't do that again. I promise you that. Just getting my stuff out because it's check out time and I didn't want to wake you well until I was done that is. I promise. I swear on my heart. That's my intention."  
They kiss again passionately and Matty falls into George's chest getting on top of him pinning his body to the bed. George moans and bites Matty's lip.  
"You believe me?" George nods his head before speaking.  
"Where are you going?"  
"I-I- I don't know George. I'll see you Monday. I'm sorry I was intrusive. I'm sorry we skipped back into this. I missed you. I'm so sorry. I just don't want to get in the way with you and Ross okay. You deserve a chance at love. A real one. Not some fuck up that breaks your heart." Before George can speak Matty gets up and walks out into the unknown. 

 

Matty walks to his car and puts the luggage in crying and drying his tears with his hoodie. Eventually he sits in the drivers side and lets it all out until his phone rings.  
"Hey, did you recruit him yet?"  
"No." He lets out hoarsely trying to sound like he's ok.  
"Matty, what happened?"  
"I miss him. I don't know if I can do this." He sobs again fully breaking down.  
"What you're doing is a good thing. Just mend the fence and I'm sure he will be on board with it. He was pretty amazing from the way you described him."  
"What if he doesn't want to and I ruin my chances with him?"  
"Stop thinking about the what ifs. Get him to come to LA and live happily ever after like you've been talking about." A voice chuckles and Matty smiles.  
"Thank you, Jackie. For the pep talk. You're a good assistant. Before you go---."  
"Yes. Allen has been fed, your plants are watered and I took care of the bills."  
"You know if I was straight you'd be the perfect wife."  
The voice chuckles loudly as a dog barks in the background.  
"Yeah and if I were straight too and actually thought you were cute." She jokes knowing it would make him laugh which it does.  
"Thanks. I'll see you in a month and I'll have him."  
"That's the spirit, Matty. Go get him."  
They hang up and he smiles warmly to himself before noticing George sprinting out of the hotel searching cars for him. Their eyes meet and Matty doesn't know what to do. He's paralyzed with fear and George rips open his car door yanking him out.  
"George!" Matty yelps out scared and then just like that George kisses him.  
"Shut up." He growls through his teeth. Matty kisses back licking his mouth and wrapping his hands around his waist.  
"I'm not letting you leave again. Stay with me. Fuck Ross. All I care about is you. It's all I ever cared about. Babe stay, stay, stay. Please." Matty smiled warmly glowing and kisses him.  
"Okay George. Okay."  
Matty follows George back to the flat and he helps him with his things. George of course grabbed everything heavy with ease considering Matty attempted to carry his suitcase with instruments and fell from the weight. He put it in their old room smiling at the familiar place he thought he'd never see again. He was hanging his clothes up when he felt a kiss on his shoulder.  
"You settled, baby?"  
George kisses his shoulder twice as Matty stops dead in his tracks and turns to face him. Their lips mash together as Matty tugs at George's shirt. George smacks his hand away.  
"Mmm. We're too dirty from moving. Let me make you dinner baby and then we can shower."  
Matty grinds into George and bites his neck.  
"Throw in a bottle of wine and we have a deal."  
George chuckles and kisses him.  
"I'm feeling dirty now I'll take a quick shower love promise."  
Matty kisses George's cheek and grabs a towel from the closet along with some clothes.  
"Ok babe. Dinner will be ready when you get out." 

The warm water sprays Matty's body so delicately and for once he feels at peace with life. He starts thinking about what George said about his hair and starts singing.  
"There he's back in the atmosphere with drops of Jupiter in his hair."  
He smiles to himself thriving with energy and inspiration. He washes his body quickly and sprints to the room in a towel and grabs his guitar from one of the bags.  
He starts strumming on his guitar letting the melody flow freely repeating what he said in the shower as he sits down on a chair. George hears and gets excited. Matty gives up unable to come up with more lyrics. He aimlessly starts singing "I'm naked and bare. And I'm so scared." His voice breaks and George rushes in rubbing his back with a kinky idea.  
"Scared of what?" He questions kissing his neck.  
"Everything." Matty whimpers out.  
George reaches for a tie he has on the dresser.  
"Put the guitar down and be really bare." George instructs and Matty follows not questioning it. Leaning it against the bed.  
"Do you trust me?" George asks as he blindfolds Matty. He nods his head and George kisses him.  
"I trust you George. Make me better."  
George chuckles to keep himself from crying. He hates seeing Matty like this but remembers that exploring in the bedroom helps it all come out and he was desperate for that. He grabs a bottle of lube from his night stand and sees Matty reaching out for him.  
"Where are you?" Matty whimpers softly breaking George's heart. He applies lube to himself and then on Matty. George gently gets on top of Matty as he groans then kisses him.  
"I'm right here baby." He finally says grabbing his hand so he can feel. Matty rubs his chest groaning at the muscles on it and then once more as George slowly grinds down on him. Matty moans breaking from the kiss and George nips at his neck.  
"Yeah you like that don't you?" George growls through his teeth.  
"Oh god George." He screams out in ecstasy when he finally stretches out enough and bottoms out.  
George grabs his face and kisses him passionately as he feels him tense up. It's beautiful and pure and their lips can't stop. Matty comes with George still inside of him and whimpers at the soreness. He gets off after a kiss to Matty's cheek, takes off the tie and cleans him up. When they're done they both chuckle.  
"How'd you know?"  
"Know what?" George asks as he grabs Matty some clothes and sets them on the bed.  
"That I needed that. That's up there with the most erotic moments of my life." Matty giggles getting dressed.  
"I know you and when you're too full of pride to ask for you needs. Always loved it when I was 'creative' as you said." He kisses Matty's cheek and leads him to the kitchen.  
There a plate of fried chicken sits and Matty chuckles.  
"I was expecting your fancy gourmet dinners."  
"No. Too exhausted for that and broke but it's something."  
Matty beams at him and kisses his cheek.  
"Best dinner I've ever had." They sit down and cork the wine that was Matty's favorite.  
"You still buy it?" Matty asks as they eat.  
"To help me cope when I missed you. It reminded me of the way you taste."  
Matty blushes and before he even thinks the words flow out.  
"I love you, George."  
And he smiles that big goofy grin.  
"I love you too, Matthew."


	4. //Reminds Me That There's Time To Change//

Matty washes the dishes for George he insisted even though it was just reheated chicken. Anything to get rid of this pang of guilt in his chest. He feels like collapsing. He doesn't truly deserve this. None of it. Not the sex, the love, the commitment of any of it and he makes a mental note to cry about it when George is asleep. He's trying his best to cover up his emotions. However, George can see right through him and he knows all it'll take it just a simple "what's wrong?" for it to all come out and ruin everything. He finishes off the last wine glass making sure to get the spots off because nothing annoys him more than spotty glasses. Delicately he puts the dishes up right where he remembers George likes and chuckles once he sees he still keeps everything in the same places. Matty's done putting things up and George is on the couch watching television. He sits next to him and George senses the tension so he holds him close kissing his cheek.   
"You tired babe? You didn't have to do all that. It was just fried chicken." George starts rubbing his back for him kissing his neck.   
"No. I needed to it's the least I could do."   
He chuckles and their lips connect. Matty tastes George and sees everything. He sees George's face in the California sun playing with their dog Allen Matty is sure he's gonna love. He hears George's voice in the morning singing softly to him and writing songs together. He sees them at the Grammy's kissing on red carpets and accepting awards including the part where they're each other's husband. It makes Matty feel more at ease. He knows the spring music showcase is coming up next month it's why he chose now to come back. To see if George wrote anything he could work with and to search for other talent for his new label. He didn't flop like George thinks he did just disappeared until he had a new project and love by his side. It's his biggest secret because fuck it would've been annoying to come back home and be treated differently. He still wanted to be the local punk with a guitar and nothing more. It's how he sees himself still anyways. 

"George, have you written anything yet?"   
Matty finally says breaking himself from the trance. George stops massaging him and Matty lays on him allowing his hair to be played with.   
"No, to be honest I haven't. Nothing's really came to me and we have that showcase in a month and I'm nervous."  
"I've been working on something. Let's finish it together." Matty kisses George's cheek and leads him to the room. George sits at the piano bench next to him. Matty scribbles the lyrics he wrote early onto a sheet of paper and shows George.   
"I'm stuck at this part." Matty gestures towards the paper and George kisses him.   
George plays a melody on the piano and sings, "Now that he's back in the atmosphere/ With drops of Jupiter in his hair, hey, hey, hey/  
He acts like summer and walks like rain."   
Matty quickly scribbles in what George added in and kisses his cheek.   
"I like that." Matty gushes and takes over wanting to add more in. He looks deeply into George's eyes and sings, "Reminds me that there's a time to change, hey, hey, hey."   
George knows in his heart that Matty's talking about him specifically in that lyric and he feels his heart leaping out of his chest. He grabs Matty and kisses him roughly.   
"That's good." He grumbles into Matty's mouth.   
George takes over once again and adds, "Since the return from his stay on the moon  
He listens like spring and he talks like June, hey, hey."   
Earning a giggle from Matty and he laughs softly to himself. George thinks more about Matty and then it all comes flowing and he takes over without thinking about what he sings.   
"Tell me did you sail across the sun/  
Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded/  
And that heaven is overrated/  
Tell me, did you fall from a shooting star/  
One without a permanent scar/  
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there."   
Matty yelps and George knows then that it cut too close. His brown eyes fill with sadness after they were filled with light and color just seconds ago. He kisses Matty's cheek and offers a cigarette.   
"I'm sorry baby. I'm so sorry. I--." He rubs Matty's thigh tenderly as Matty reaches to kiss him.   
"Don't be. I did miss you and now I'm not going anywhere."   
They kiss passionately and George tastes the pain wanting to take it away. Wishing it were something tangible that he could just make disappear. Matty climbs into his lap making George snap into reality. His hands are in Matty's hair pulling him closer to his body.   
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Matty says choking back tears as George holds him delicately rubbing his back.   
"Yeah? I'm sorry too. I'm sorry I didn't support you. You sure proved me wrong. You made it and you didn't even need me." George chuckles kissing his cheek.   
"It was meaningless without you. Besides while you may have physically not been there you were always in my heart and mind, George." They kiss deep and softly allowing their tongues to explore each other's mouth.   
"I'll never stop loving you." George says as he presses his lips against Matty's roughly.   
"Who said you had to stop?" Matty says into George's mouth kissing and grinding onto him. Their kissing becomes sloppy and messy as George carries Matty to the bed. His ankles pressing deeply into George's sides making him gasp. They make sure their lips stay attached until George throws Matty on the bed.   
"Remember the last time I had you in this bed like this?" He groans taking his shirt off and then Matty's. His response is a quick nod.   
"Yes. Yes. Yes. You spanked me. Told me I was a bad boy and fucked me so hard into the headboard it left a dent."   
George chuckled into his mouth biting his lip.   
Matty's gaze went soft and he put his hand on George's heart.   
"What are we doing?" He says breaking the silence.   
"Thought we were having sex." George leans down to kiss him.   
"No. What are WE doing? Us." George lays down next to him holding his body close to his. The big spoon just like old times.   
"I--I don't know." He says running his fingers through his curls.   
"Do you love him?" Matty chokes out sadly.   
"I did. I mean I don't know anymore. You know? Things got stale. It's like we're together because we don't know how to be apart? Like it's what we're use to and it's what's expected. It's not that passionate love ignited with flames that I gotta have or else I'm gonna die."   
Matty smiles and kisses him.   
"Maybe you're too old for that? Maybe you're afraid to love like that?"   
George pretends to be insulted poking Matty's shoulder.   
"I'm not old. I'm younger than you actually. And I did love him like that before. To tell you the truth our little rendezvous in the hotel was the first time I've had sex in months."   
Matty kisses George's shoulder softly.   
"I feel like me being here is getting in the way of your relationship. Like I don't want to be the reason why you lose your second shot at love. I want you to be happy. I don't know if I'm staying or going or if this is a permanent thing. I want you to know that now. Would you come with me?"   
Theirs a hole in George's heart the size of Texas. He knows he can't leave home. He cried when he went to Brazil for a music festival with Ross 4 years ago and hasn't left since then. He's attached. He loves the comfort of home and to leave it behind he can't.   
"I don't know-- I don't know if I can."   
"Then let's stop this before someone gets hurt again? Now this is fine. I don't mind staying here. I can sleep on the couch if it makes it easier." Matty attempts to break free from George to go lay on the couch but is held tightly in his arms.   
"What if I don't want you to go? What if I want you in our bed? What if I want to fall asleep to the sound of your heart? What if I don't care about the risks?" Tears stream George's face and Matty stops. Kissing each drop and rubbing it away.   
"George look at me? I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere unless you want me to. I don't want to hurt you again I just want to be realistic." George pins Matty down to the mattress kissing his lips delicately.   
"I'm looking right at you. You won't hurt me." He kisses him rougher now as Matty's legs wrap around his waist holding on for dear life. George pulls Matty up and pulls his hair making him gasps and squirm before bitting his neck. He moans loudly as George starts to undo their pants. Their breathing becomes heavy as George deposits him back onto the mattress and pulls their pants off.   
"We're doing this." George growls through his teeth with an undefeated want. His eyes are dark and heavy. Matty knows how this is going to end but he wants to savor George. He wants to take care of his needs and show him what he deserves even if it's temporary. He's a ghost that comes and goes wrecking George's life and he knows it but God he doesn't intend to. He snaps out of it as George guides him on his knees and a bottle of lube pops open.   
"Stay still." George bites Matty's neck and applies lube onto his length and fingers. He moans in his ears and Matty knows it's going to be a very long night.   
"Please. Please. Fuck me already." Matty whimpers.   
"Be patient, love. You'll get it." George smirks and pushes Matty back onto his back.   
"I'm sorry. I can't bring myself to fuck you. I want to make love to you." George kisses Matty's cheek whispering praises and falls on top of him.   
"It's going to be slow, steady and passionate. I want you to look at me." George announces making Matty face him. He cups his cheeks in his hands kissing him softly. Before they progress any further George jumps off Matty and lights a candle.   
"Babe don't forget to turn the big light off." Matty chuckles at George who complies before returning to bed.   
"Love you Matthew." He says on top of Matty nipping at his neck.


End file.
